There are 7 billion people Who would care if you got rid of one?
by belladoaw
Summary: [AU] Magnus has an argument with the rest of the people and after a while he goes to the bridge to for fill his dreams of leaving the world. Will Alec and everyone stop him?
1. Chapter 1

_Slut,_

 _Whore,_

 _Desperate,_

 _Ugly,_

 _Worthless,_

 _Freak,_

 _Greedy,_

 _Fat,_

 _Useless,_

 _Mistake_

 _Demon._

The words were running all over my head, and they wouldn't stop for a second. Those voices overpowered me. They controlled my life, and no matter how hard I try to stop it, it will never budge. I _have_ tried. _So_ many times, but nothing has worked.

As i'm sitting here, on the edge of my bed with silky red sheets, I stare blankly down at my hands which were in my lap. My eyes traced the palmar flexion creases, and then towards my veins on my wrists which are covered in scars and new(ish) cuts.

The cuts have only been frequently nowadays. I did used to do them before, but not as frequently. I had my life together back then with only small problems that I could deal with, but this? I have lost everything. My father is a abusive and a drinker, I lost my friendship group, I am getting pushed into lockers, people are finding out about my past and _nobody_ cares enough to stop it. Nobody.

My eyes left my arms and hands, and go towards my legs and feet. My thighs, they are too big. I barely eat anything, and they aren't getting any smaller. I slowly raise my foot off the floor, bringing up my thigh and getting away the fat that had exploded from them when I sat down, and then lowering it to see it reappear. My feet also are too big, but I am a big person overall, so why didn't I expect that?

I take a deep breath before slowly standing up and slowly walking over towards my bedside table. Once I reached, I grabbed the black pen and my notebook before sitting on my bed. I made a list of who needed a note:

Father,

Camielle,

Izzy,

Simon,

Clary,

Jace

 _Alexander_.

…

 _Dear Father,_

 _I am truly sorry. I am sorry for not being the "child" you wanted, I am sorry for not being their to cook your food when you were too lazy to get up, I am sorry that I wasn't there to pleasure you, I am sorry for being an abomination, I am sorry for being fucked up and I am sorry for not being good enough for you to be called your child. To be raised properly._

 _Every name you've called me, every duty you have given me, every order, every blame. They all hurt me in ways you don't understand. They have all hurt me, but they also made me who I am today. Insecure, depressed and lonely._

 _You've made me push people away because I didn't want anyone having to deal with the pain of loving me._

 _I was depressed because I had to let go of people I loved._

 _You made me insecure to ever go near someone who is suicidal, because you wouldn't want them to end up like mom, which was my fault, isn't it?_

 _I don't know how you thought that treating me like that was the right way, because it wasn't. You made me hate myself even more than before, and I thought that wasn't possible. But now, I have no time. I have no care. I dont care anymore. I don't have time to wait for you to be the parent you were meant to be, so I am leaving. And I am never coming back._

 _And through all of this shit, I still love you. I love you because you are my parent and you should love me as well. I hope you have a good life, dad. Nice knowing you._

 _Magnus._

….

 _Dear Camille,_

 _Thank you. When we were friends, you were the perfect best friend to have. You made me smile and laugh on days I didn't want to, you helped me become confident and you helped me believe that everything was going to be okay in the end. You honestly were great._

 _But you aren't now. You're not the same person. You are greedy, pushy and rude. Everything you helped me with vanished into thin air in the matter of a week, all because you found someone better than me. You abused my trust, you abused my heart and you abused my body. You forced me into things I didn't want to do and I will never forgive you for that._

 _Through the years you acted like a good person, I loved you. But then everything changed and we were never the same, and we will never be the same. I cant thank you enough for helping me when I was at my lowest, but you are a different person now, so it doesn't matter._

 _Don't be the person you are now. Be the person who you were before._

 _Magnus._

…

 _Dear Izzy,_

 _Hey Izzy. If you're reading this, this is a sign for I gave up. I know that you expected this to be a fuck you letter, but it isn't. It is a goodbye letter, because you would stop be from doing this, but I need to do this. For you, for Simon, Clary, Jace and especially Alexander._

 _I know that I have been a dick to you, but I wrote this letter because I wanted to tell you that I have always loved you, and I always will. You had been there for me when I first got picked on by the popular kids (other than you) at school, and multiple times after that, and although I told you to leave me alone and that I could handle it, you stayed. You stayed because you knew that I couldn't, and you knew that beneath my walls that I put up, you knew that I was broken and that I would end up doing something bad to myself because of it._

 _I know that doing this will be a shock for you, probably, because I was always smiling, and I was always happy, and although you did break my walls before, these walls were stronger. And although I would be disappointed in other people for not finding out, im not disappointed in you because I knew that these walls were too strong. But thank you, for helping me in school and being an amazing friend._

 _Please keep your brother happy, and dont let him be hung up on someone like me. Someone who doesn't deserve it. You have every right to throw this letter away, and burn it if you'd like, but if Alexander is upset, help him forget me. I dont want him being sad over someone who broke his heart, and someone who didn't deserve to be here in the first place._

 _I hope you have a good life, and have a happy and healthy relationship in the future._

 _I know that we are not on good terms, and you have every right to hate me but I do still love you and I always will._

 _Magnus xo_

….

 _Dear Simon,_

 _You have always been the greatest friend to me, ever since I met you, and you made me the happiest I felt in a long with you made me never me regret my life, or actions. You never made me regret being here either, and I cant thank you enough for everything you've done when others weren't there._

 _I wrote this letter as a goodbye, because I could never leave the world without saying a goodbye to one of the best people that have ever been in my life. From watching star wars together, to pillow fights, to singing songs we dont know the lyrics to and calling each other other names, you were always the one I would go to when I needed cheering up._

 _I love that you always put yourself first. Even if you are having a bad day, you make it your duty to make others happy even when you arent/weren't. But I hope in the future that you think about yourself because making people happy when you never were yourself could fuck you up, and I wish nothing bad for you in the future._

 _I hope that you have a good relationship, and have kids with your dream wife *cough* izzy *cough* with your dream job._

 _Dont be afraid to put yourself before others, especially when you need it the most._

 _I love you, Seamen._

 _Magnus xxx_

…

 _Dear Clary,_

 _I know that you probably are guessing what this letter is about, but although this will come with a bad outcome for me, this is all positive._

 _I have always admired your art. Although I never said it, you have a great gift and I hope you turn that into something special in the future. Although we were never close, and always argued, I did think that you were an amazing young girl. You have a girl, you are beautiful and you have a great personality. Jace is lucky to have you, and I am glad that I knew you for the time being._

 _I hope the future gives you good, and all positive things because you deserve the best of the best._

 _I love you, and dont be afraid to put your art and writing out there. From the stories I have read about your past and how you dealt with them, I know that you can change somebody's life, and possibly save one and I hope that you do do that._

 _Magnus xxx_

…..

 _Dear Jace,_

 _Before you throw this letter away by the fact that you hate me, please, dont. If you are currently reading this with the gang, then you may or may not know what this letter is about. This isn't for reconcile, this isn't for love and this isn't for you all to have me back. Its my goodbye letter, because I wont be here anymore._

 _You may think I am lying, which in fact I am not. I know I hurt your brother Jace, and doing this is better for you and me, but dont hate me. I have had problems left right up and down in my life and its like I can never escape. All the others have gotten positive things, but I cant with you. Because you hate me for the fact that I hurt your brother, and I get that, but now you dont have to hate me because there will be no me. This is all very dramatic but I am being serious._

 _I love your brother, I do, I just dont know how to handle with everything. You should know by now that I dont like having relationships because they will always end in heartbreak, so you should've know I would've handled that situation dramatically. I am a messed up person, Jace, and thats why I am leaving. To put you, Alexander and the rest at peace._

 _Anyways, I think that Alec will be upset that I done this, so if he is, then please take care of him. I know that you dont want to take orders from me and all that shit, but please, this is your brother. The brother you love. Do it for him, and for me._

 _Take care,_

 _Magnus_

 _..._

 _Dear Alexander,_

 _I fucked up. I fucked up so much, and I am sorry for being so horrible towards you. I would do anything to make it up to you, but this is my only hope that you will forgive me, because I cant do this anymore. I cant do life anymore, not without you. And people will say thats dramatic, and I know it is, but its true. You and the group made me so fucking happy. When I was having problems dealing with things, you were all there to help me. You made me believe that everything would be okay and that I was perfect the way I was, and I love you so fucking much for that,_

 _You are always going to be the one I love the most. The one I would do anything for. Have I told you that the reason I had a black eye the other day was because Sebastian and his group were planning on hurting you, and I told them to hurt me instead? Did you know I had a broken arm because I defended you in front of my dad and he broke my arm for it? Did you know that Camille said she would hurt you if she didn't have her way with me? It was because I love you, Al. And I would do anything in the fucking world to keep you happy, and to keep you safe, and thats why im leaving._

 _I dont know what to say in this other than I love you so much and I wish the best for you,_

 _Magnus xoxoxo_

...

I sighed before putting down my letters that I wrote. This is it… this is really it. I have attempted in the past, but I was never sure it was going to work and never wrote a note to anyone, but now I know that there is no turning back. Not now, and not ever. I wish I could say my goodbyes to the group face to face, but I can't do that. I have already hurt Alexander and the rest enough, and if I told them, they would never let me do it, no matter how much they hate me.

I took a deep breath before rising from my bed and going around my room, collecting items that the others might want back. For Clary, her notepad, books, and pencils. Simon, his Harry Potter book collection. Izzy, her black, grey and white nail polishes. Jace, his football. Alec, a photograph. The photo was a picture of when we were just friends back then, but it was beautiful.

Alec was wearing a green shirt and loose, baggy black jeans, trainers and had a black rucksack on his back, whereas I was wearing tight black jeans with a zigzag pattern on the side, a black vest with which lines, a dark purple coat with golden buttons and the same colour purple boots. We were in the street, and had the biggest grins on our faces. My left hand was on his shoulder while the other one was resting on his chest, looking away and he had his right hand on my waist while the other one was just hanging on his side, with him looking at me with such love. That picture was a perfect example of our relationship, even if the picture was taken before we were even together.

Tears were building behind my eyes, but I wiped them away and stuffed the picture in the bag before zipping it up and putting on some shoes before walking towards the door, turning off the light. I stopped at the door frame and took in my room for the last time. I smiled before hesitantly turning my attention back to getting out of here.

I walked downstairs and poked my head in the living room doorway to see if my father was home which, with no surprise, he wasn't. I sighed and dished out his and Camille's letter and putting it on the kitchen counter. I walked towards the front door and without looking back, walked out, slamming the door behind me.

It was 9:46pm when I got to Simon's house. His house was new, with clean glass, 2 floors and an amazing front yard. On the inside though, it just seemed like any normal house. Nothing was old fashioned besides some of the paintings that were hung up in the living room but they were beautiful.

I opened the front gate to his house as silently as I could before slipping inside and walking towards the door. My steps were slow, and hesitant. Do I want to do this? Is it worth is? I thought, but they were quickly pushed aside before I remembered that they all hated me. My father and Camille added onto that list.

I got to the black door, and slowly opened the mail receiver and immediately hearing noise from the inside. The sound of laughter, music and video games were being played in the background. I smiled, remembering what it was like back then, when I was joined in that group.

I got the letters out of my bag, before placing my bag on the floor, leaning against the wall. I let go of the mail receiver, and quickly put the letters on the floor, just in front of the door. I stood up straight, closing my eyes and taking a deep breathe. I opened my eyes, and brought my fist up to the door, knocked 4 times, before running off and out of the gate. Just as I made it to the edge of his house, where the wall blocked the view for the person from the inside, and peeked my head around the corner.

Simon was there. He bent down, his eyes scanning over the letters, clearly confused on whos they were, before his eyes landed on the bag. He gets back up and calls something that I couldn't hear to the other people inside and soon they were all at the door, looking down. I leaned closer,

"Doesn't that bag belong to Magnus?" Izzy, I presume, guessed. I looked over to see Simon nodding and picking up the letters, handing them out.

"Guys, this doesn't seem good. What if he done something?" Clary asked, opening the letter.

"He wouldn't do anything, but even if he did, would anyone give a shit?" Jace growled. I looked down at my shoes when I heard laughter coming out of peoples mouths. There were a couple minutes of silence before I heard a gasp. I looked back up to see Simon with his hand over his mouth.

"Simon? What's wrong?" Isabelle asked, putting her hand on his shoulder. He stumbled backwards towards the group before spinning around to face them.

"Jace, call 911. Izzy, get Alec! Now!" He said, pushing Jace inside. He shook his head, eyebrows coming together in confusion.

"Why? Did he kill someone or something?" Jace asked. Simon shook his head, and when Clary finally got what he meant, she put her shaking hand over her mouth.

"He's going to kill himself…" She said. They all gasped before Jace ran inside, followed by Izzy. Almost a second later, Izzy came out of the door with Alec trailing behind her. He had a line on his forehead, meaning he was confused before asking what was going on.

"He is going to kill himself, Alec. You have to help him!" Clary said, tears falling down her eyes, but before I could hear anymore, I ran off into the distance of the Brooklyn Bridge.

I made it to the Brooklyn Bridge, breathless. My phone was buzzing a thousand times while I was running here, but I ignored it. I went to the middle, before walking to the railing and peeking over the side and looked at the water rushing below him. I took a deep breath, shaking my hands while jumping on the spot. Come on, Magnus. Just get over the railing and jump, I thought.

After a couple moments of debating on what to do, I took the easy answer and put my right leg onto the other side of the railing, with my other leg following. Just as my foot lowered onto the ground, my phone started buzzing again. I sighed, gripping onto the railing with my right hand before taking my phone out of my pocket with my left. I looked at the ID and almost fainted, it was Alexander. I took a deep breath before answering the call.

"Magnus, tell me where you are right now!" Alec yelled. He sounded heartbroken with a mix of anger and regret, or… guilt? Why would he be guilty?

"Alexander…" I said, in barely a whisper. A tear fell from my felt so good to hear him, to hear him say my name… Muttered chatter came from the other side of the phone,

"Magnus… please. Tell me where you are, and I will help..." He replied, voice cracking. I debated on telling him anything, before sighing. Another tear fell,

"Brooklyn Bridge. I… Im gone in 5 minutes, Alexander. I can't do this anymore. I'm sorry, and I love you." I hung up. Taking a deep breathe, I looked at the time. 10:23pm. 10:28pm will be the time of my death, and there is nothing holding me back.

I was staring at the water below me when I heard a car pull up and a million doors slamming shut. I quickly looked at the time on my phone, 10:26pm. _Damn_. I tightened my grip on the railing when I heard footsteps behind me. 10:27pm. The footsteps were getting closer.

"MAGNUS!" A girl yelled. I heard Sirens coming closer and closer. The footsteps stopped. I slowly brought myself back to the railing and turned around to be greeted the with people. They all had worried, concerned and guilty looks on their faces. Alec stepped forward and grabbed my hand. I pushed it away from mine and checked the time. Still 10:27pm…

"Magnus… please. Don't do this…" He cried. A tear fell down his face and I hesitantly brought my shaking hand to his face, cupping it, and wiping away the tear. I saw the ambulance and cop cars pull up and I looked back at my phone to see it was still the same fucking time.

"You know I can't do that, Alec. I can't. I betrayed you. I betrayed your trust. I betrayed your heart and your fucking heart. I broke you. You heard Jace say it, who cares if something fucking happens to me? I am horrible. I am a horrible person and I don't deserve to be here. Not anymore." I wiped a tear from my eye, my grip loosening a bit, "You need to find someone good. Someone better than me. Hell, everyone is better than me, Alec. Choose someone else." I said, tears falling down my eyes.

"No… Mags, I love you and only you. I can't do that. Please, just let me help you… I can't do this without you!" He said with his voice cracking at certain points. I looked down at my phone, 10:28pm. I looked up to see him staring wide eyed at the phone. I turned it off and threw it into the direction of the group,

"There are 7 billion people in the world. Who would care if you lost one?" I asked rhetorically. He looked up at me, shaking his head, "I love you, Alexander." I said, pulling him into the last kiss. It was full of desperation, care, and… love. I broke it off, leaning my forehead against his before kissing his cheek, pushing him away.

He was shaking his head at me, before I mouthed I love you. I closed my eyes, let go of the railing and began falling backwards. I heard screaming in the back, but they got quieter and quieter. I felt like I was flying, but I felt a hand grabbing mine and I snapped my eyes open.

The group and some police officers were all bending over the railing to see me. They all had scared expressions on their faces, some were crying but some were shown emotionless. I looked over to see Jace grabbing my hand with Alec by his side,

"Jace, if you don't fucking let me go I swear to god!" I yelled, pulling at my hand. The water sounded violent beneath me, crashing into each other and getting everything wet around it. I looked beneath me and felt my arm being pulled and my face crashing into a chest. Before I could react, hands were on my waist and I felt myself being lifted over the railing. Once I was placed onto the floor, I pushed the person off me, onto to be greeted with a crying Alec.

"Let me do this, goddamnit! I don't deserve to be here! Let me be free for once and not break people's hearts! Let me leave so I don't have to be called the school slut again, let me leave so I don't have to have people raping me and taking advantage of me, let me leave so I don't do damage, and let me fucking leave for myself! Because I hate me! I don't want to be fucking me and I know that you all hate me!" I yelled, wiping tears from my eyes. I scanned my eyes over the group only to be met with silence. I looked down and turned around, wiping tears from my eyes. Police tape were on either side of the bridge, with a group of many people looking in.

I started walking off the pavement and onto the road, only to be hit with a wave of nausea and dizziness. I played it off, and continued walking to the other side of bridge to the railing. When I lifted my leg up, I felt even more dizzy and leaned against it for support. I felt a hand on my shoulder, and I looked up to see Izzy. She was saying something but I couldn't hear her. I paid my attention back to the matter at hand and pushed myself onto the railing.

When I looked back, everyone was blurry. A tear fell from Alec's face, and I reached up to wipe it off. He smiled and grabbed onto my hand. He said something. I said something. I don't even know what I said, but the last thing I saw was Alec's scared face and people crowding around him before blackness overtook.

* * *

hihihihihihihihihihihihi

i was dead for like a week or something ayayayyayay for bad schedules!

okay no that wasn't what happened. for my other story, i started off really strong and i really did have inspiration for it but now i have lost interest and have no fucking clue what to do next in the story. im not good with stories unless they are like 2 chapters.

so im sorry if you enjoyed that story but once i find the insperation to do the next chapter then i will!

btw if u want this to have another chapter than comment or something idk bc idk if i wanna continue it or not

okay baiii


	2. Chapter 2

**Trigger Warning:** Homophobia

* * *

"He will be okay, Alec.". Izzy said, putting a hand on my shoulder, trying to comfort me, "You just have to have hope for him."

"I don't think there's any hope left to hold on to, Iz." I said, running a hand through my hair, "The doctors haven't gave us any news on how he's doing. What is he doesn't make it?"

"Don't say that, Alec. He would do anything to keep you happy." She said.

"Then why did he do this?" I asked, looking up at her to see a confused look. "What?"

"Magnus left notes, did you not get yours?" She asked. I shook my head. "Do you… want to read it?" I could tell she was worried for me, and in my opinion, I was worried too, and opening this letter may result in good or bad. I took a moment to think, before nodding. She walked off to get the letter, which helped me process what to think.

Was the letter going to tell him that it's all his fault? Is he going to say he never loved me? What would happen if he did write that? Would I just have to leave the hospital and pretend like nothing ever happened between us, or stay here, comfort him and then leave? My thoughts were interrupted with footsteps walking towards me.

I looked up, but instead of seeing Izzy, I saw the doctor. I quickly got up on my feet and walked as fast as I could over to her, my heart racing in fear.

"Hows Magnus?" I asked. She gave me a small smile before placing a hand on my shoulder,

"I should talk with the rest of your friends as well," She said. It took my a moment to process what she said before nodding at her and leading the way to my friends. Once I walked into the room with the doctor, everyone's eyes quickly went to her and they stopped mid convocation. She gave a small smile to the group.

"Is Magnus okay?" Simon asked, basically sitting on the edge of his seat.

"Kind of.." She started, making my heart pound in worry, "You see, before he went to the bridge, he cut himself multiple times on his legs, arms, and chest. Meaning, the whole time he was walking, and standing up, the blood was coming out, basically bleeding him to… unconsciousness." I heard a sharp intake of breath behind me, "Right now, he is fine. But he has lost a lot of blood. If you wouldn't mind, we need a few people to donate their blood to him to make sure that once he wakes up, he is able to move his arms, legs, etc."

"I'll do it." I said, immediately. Everyone's heads turned towards me. "You can take my blood, as much as you need."

"Me too." Simon said, pulling up his sleeve to get ready. Soon, me, Clary and Simon all donated our blood and we got moving. We followed her, walking down the hallways,

"Hey, Simon," I started, "did you get a note from Magnus?" His expression went from calm to concerned. He looked and me and nodded, "What… what did it say?"

"He… he reminded me of all of our memories, and he was just wishing me luck in the future, telling me he loved me." Simon said, "What did yours say, if you don't mind me asking?

"I don't know yet, I haven't opened it.." I admitted, rubbing my hands together. He looked at me with a confused face before putting a hand on my chest and stopping,

"Are you actually worried?" He said, raising his eyebrows. I looked down and nodded. He scoffed, and continued walking, making me catch up with him.

"You are seriously dumb, Alec. Do you really think he would write anything bad for you as his last words?" He said. _Last words_. I closed my eyes and nodded, still continuing following the lady up the stairs,

"Yeah…" I said. He looked at me with a completely unreadable look,

"You have to be kidding?" He said. I shook my head. "You are so dumb, you know that Lightwood?"

"Well, why wouldn't he? You did hear about what happened when I told him I loved him, and that I wanted to take the next step." I said, trying to block the horrible memory out of my mind.

"Alec, he didn't say any of that because he didn't love you, and that he wasn't ready to take the next step. He said that because of the shit he has had to deal with in his past with those experiences. You know, admitting that you loved someone and that you were ready to take the next step." He said. We made it to the door, and Clary volunteered to go first, which left me and Simon alone outside. He sighed,

"Look, Alec. It is no way my right to tell you what happened in Magnus' past, but you heard him when he was back on the ground…" He said. It took me a couple moments to think, before taking a deep breath, realising what he meant. I looked at him with wide eyes,

"And that person who… who did that… he… he loved them?" I asked, scared for the answer. He nodded and lowered his head, only to bring it up again with tears in his eyes.

"Look, Alec. It is in no way right for me to reveal his past to you, but just know that it is dark, and the only reason he broke up with you, and was rude to you, was because he was afraid." Simon said, "He was afraid you would be like the others. And if "

"When." I interrupted. There was a flash of something in his eyes, but it was gone in a second,

"And when he wakes up, he will tell you that he loves you, because he does. You're just too naive to see it." Simon said. Just as he finished his sentence, the door opened, and Clary came out. I volunteered to go in next, still thinking about the comments Simon made.

" _You heard him when he was back on the ground" Rape._

" _He was afraid. He was afraid you would be like the others"_

" _When_ _he wakes up, he_ _will_ _tell you_ _ **he loves you**_ _."_

" _He_ _ **loves**_ _you"_

 _He loves me._

 _ **HE LOVES ME!**_

Around half an hour later, we were all back in the waiting room. Izzy, Simon and Jace were all sat next to each other, playing a board game that they somehow got, meanwhile Clary was sleeping and I was eyeing the bag that Jace said Magnus left on the doorstep with the letters, which were also placed in the bag.

I took a deep breath before reaching over and taking the letters out, putting them on the side. I haven't read mine yet, but I would prefer looking at what he put in it. As soon as the letters were out, the object on top was a photograph. I slowly put my hands in and brought it back out, turning it around.

The photograph was my favourite picture of us together. I smiled, tears coming into my eyes, and when I was about to place the photograph on the side, I felt something move inside. I snapped my eyes to it, before looking around me and was glad that everyone was occupied. I looked back down, turning over the photograph and opening the back.

When I opened the back, a bunch of photographs were packed in a pile. I picked up the first one and smiled, remembering the memory,

" _Can't we just take a normal picture?" I groaned._

" _What's fun with normal?" Magnus said with a smirk, before bending over and putting the phone on a down angle, facing all of us._

" _Because we will all look ugly, Magnus!" I said, laughing. Magnus glared before laughing and telling everyone to get down and smile. The first picture was a fail because I wasn't smiling, so Clary yelled,_

" _DUCKS!"_

 _And Jace had a weird expression on his face, while I was grinning like an idiot,_

 _I smiled before putting it down on the side, on top of the letter and going to the next one. This one was a selfie of me and Magnus, when we snuck into an event we had no idea what it was,_

" _Just blend in with everyone, Alec!" Magnus whispered, breaking into laughter afterwards. We were walking around when suddenly Magnus gasped and grabbed my hand, running off._

" _Magnus!" I laughed, pulling on my hand. Magnus stopped running and began walking before turning around and grinning at me,_

" _Where the hell are we?" I asked. He shrugged before laughing and pulling us to a platform. We were both looking at it, when Magnus turned around and whipped out his phone, yelling "SELFIE!"_

 _I turned around and quickly made a pose, which looked weird, and Magnus continued laughing at the pose for 10 minutes straight afterwards._

I quickly chuckled before putting that one down and picking up the next one which was just of me,at another event we had no clue was.

" _Alec, shut up! You're gonna blow us off!" Magnus whispered, pulling me into a room. It was literally nothing besides a big wall in the middle, saying "platform" with a box full of weird things you can use to make your pictures more interesting._

 _Magnus smirked at me and handed me a hat and a mustache and I raised my eyebrows at him._

" _No" I said. Magnus pouted,_

" _Pleaseeeeee. Cmon Alec, for me! I promise I wont post it anywhere!" He said, clapping his hands together, making a praying position. I laughed before rolling my eyes and holding them up to my face,_

 _He took the picture, and he ended up not keeping his promise and posting the picture._

I grinned at that one, remembering getting kicked out and almost getting arrested, before Magnus held my hand and ran off into the distance, making sure we would "never be found."

The next couple of pictures were of him and Izzy, Clary, and other people before my eyes caught on one. It was a picture of Magnus, and a girl with black hair, dark brown hair and dark brown eyes. She was wearing a red dress ish thing, it was cut off from her stomach so it was in two pieces.

The picture had a red cross over the girl, and it was bent on the edges. I quickly put it to the side before looking through the next couple of pictures left.

"The cup is half empty, not half full!" Simon said, basically yelling to Jace. Jace rolled his eyes, before scoffing and crossing his arms over his chest,

"No, it isn't. It is HALF FULL." Jace said.

"Well, it depends on which way you look at it," I said, cutting in, "If it was full and you drank some of it, it would be half empty but if you finished the cup and pour some more, it would be half full." I grinned, looking at all their shocked faces. Simon sank back in his chair,

"I never thought about that…" He muttered. Everyone laughed.

This was the first genuine laugh and smile of the whole group. After the incident of Magnus, and staying in the hospital for 4 hours, with no word whatsoever other than he needs blood, it was nice to finally be able to laugh again, and get the worrying off my chest for abit.

The laughter died down, and I looked over at Izzy who was looking at me with a smile on her face. I smiled back, knowing that she was happy that I was having a good time, but that was all ruined when a beeping alarm started going off in the lobby. Everyone turned their head to reception, suspicious, when we caught sight of the registration woman typing away fast. She picked up the phone and quickly dialed a number, still typing away on the laptop,

"Subject in room 473 has lost his paulse. Man. Uhm, 16." She stopped for a moment, before looking around and catching sight of us looking at her, "5 people here for him." My heart dropped. I immediately got off my chair and started walking towards the receptionist. "Yes, Magnus Bane. Get there quick, I don't know how long we can keep him alive. Thank you." She put the phone down just as I got there,

"Is Magnus okay? Please tell me he wont die." I said, tears filling in my eyes. She gave me a sad smile full of sympathy,

"I'm not sure, but may I ask how you know him… and the rest of your group, if you don't mind?" She asked, I nodded.

"I, uhm. We are all his friends, but I am his boyfriend." I said. The woman stopped typing and looked up, raising her eyebrows. "What?" I asked, not intending it to be rude,

"His Boyfriend?" She asked. I slowly nodded before scoffing and rolling her eyes and continued typing away, which got me angry.

"Is that a problem with you?" I asked. She stopped typing again and folded her hands across her chest. She looked like a proper bitch if I have ever seen one.

"Actually, I have. This may come as a shock to you, but you are a disgusting faggot and so is your little boyfriend who is in hospital after trying to kill his sad self." She said, "Why did he even do it? Was it because he was so depressed about being a disgrace to the human world that he decided to try and end it to go into a normal life?"

"Shut the fuck up!" I yelled, catching the attention of others, "I don't know where you think you have the right to talk about me and my boyfriend like we are a piece of trash." The whole room was silent, "so you should shut the fuck up and keep your homophobic head out of your ass, okay? Now if you don't mind, I want to make sure that my boyfriend will be okay. Thanks." I turned around started walking to the group when I heard her mumble and turned around, "What was that?"

"Nothing." She said, her cheeks tinted in a slight red. I scoffed, rolled my eyes and put up the finger before walking off to the group, who was watching with grins. I sat down in my chair, the whole place still in silence, before Jace started bursting out in laughter. Soon, Simon, Clary, Izzy and me all joined him, trying to ignore the homophobic bitch and blocking out the thoughts that Magnus wouldn't make it out alive.

1:49am,

It has been around 3 hours, when the doctor from earlier finally came out.

"Hello, guys. Sorry for the wait, but you are now all allowed in his room." She said, with a smile, "He is currently in a coma, but he can hear you. Try and encourage him to come out of it by talking about how you love him, and make him feel safe." She turned around to me, "Especially you, Mr. Boyfriend. I heard the little argument, good on you." She winked before walking off, signaling with her hand for us to follow.

The whole time we was walking, I felt myself getting hotter and hotter. How long would he be in a coma? Can comas last for years? Would he last years? I hope not. All of these thoughts crowding around my head, I didn't realise we came to a stop and I accidently walked into the door. Everyone laughed, but soon came silence when the doctor opened the door and let us in.

You could immediately hear the beeping of the monitor on the side, helping us know he is alive. The room looked pretty plain, but then my eyes caught sight of Magnus.

His makeup from earlier had been wiped off, and his hair was free of any jel. His face was pale, the palest I have ever seen it, and it looked emotionless. I scanned my way down to his shoulders which looked tense, and stiff. His chest was slightly rising and falling, but if it wasn't for the monitor I would have thought he was dead. His lower abdomen had bandages on it. With some, the blood leaked through, but most of it was plain white. His arms had bandages on them, both from wrist to elbow and his legs also had them on, but on only his thighs.

The only thought was, what would've happened if he didn't give us the letters?

As much as I thought about him since we broke up, I would've never thought to check up on him to make sure he was alright, and neither would any of the others. And, it was games night, so even if we did want to check up on him, neither of us would until the morning after, meaning he would have bled out and… and died.

My thoughts were interrupted by a tap on the shoulder from Clary. She gave me a small smile,

"Do you want a chair?" She asked quietly. I smiled and nodded at her, and after a couple of seconds staring blankly in the room, she gave me the chair which I placed as close to Magnus as I could, and taking his hand. After a couple of silent seconds, Izzy got up and sat on the bed, next to Magnus, putting her fingers in his hair, playing with a couple of strands.

"Hi Magnus…" She said, whispering, and continuing to play with the hair, "Thank you for being so kind in the letter you gave me, when I was being an absolute ass to you, " She chuckled, "I… I need you to wake up, okay Magnus?" Tears were falling down her cheeks, but she didn't make any move to remove her fingers from his hair, "I need you to do it for me, and for Simon, Clary, Jace, Cat, Ragnor, Alec… Please. You have to wake up…" She broke down into sobs, and Clary immediately ran next to her and hugged her, whispering calming things in her ear.

Eventually they broke apart, and went to get coffee for themselves and the rest of us. The next up to try and get Magnus up was Jace, surprisingly. He didn't hold his hand, or play with his hair, he just stared at his emotionless face.

"Hey Magnus… thanks for the uh.. the letter." He said, playing with his own fingers. He sighed before sitting up straight, "Listen, Magnus. I am sorry for punching you in the face bu-"

"You punched Magnus in the face?! When?!" I asked, cutting him off. Jace looked at me before looking at Magnus and back at me,

"I didn't just punch him, Alec… I…. I beat him up," He said, slightly rambling, "After he broke up with you and I saw what he did to you, I felt so angry in him because he promised me he would never hurt you, and he broke that promise and I just... I'm sorry, Alec" I stayed silent, not saying anything. Jace eventually got off the bed and walked out the door, probably to go to the toilet or get a coffee.

After a couple of seconds, Simon got up and left the room without saying anything, but I could tell there was tears in his eyes. When the door slammed shut, I flinched. My eyes went from the door to Magnus. I took a deep breath before getting up and sitting on the bed next to him, still holding his hand.

"Hi Magnus…" I said, pausing for a moment. "I…" I started, but remembered what the doctor said,

" _Try and encourage him to come out of it by talking about how you love him, and make him feel safe"_

I smiled. "Do you remember the time we first met?" I asked. "I do. It was the best day of my life." I smiled, "I was the shy, weird one, and you were the popular, confident one. It was April 22nd… and we got partnered up with random people in the class chosen by the teacher, and I got partnered with you… We had to go to our own houses and get the project done but instead of doing the project, we just talked and talked and talked. It was like we clicked, and it was amazing." I stopped for a second. Tears were building up in my eyes,

"Our first kiss was March 20th, three years later of knowing each other. Did you know that I had… that I had fallen in love with you after.. maybe 6 months of knowing you? I know that sounds crazy, but it's true." I chuckled, "The kiss was everything I wished for and more. It was perfect. Although I didn't know exactly what I was doing, it felt perfect. Our lips joined and the whole world around me just suddenly… fell away. I didn't care who saw, I didn't care who took pictures of us, I didn't care about anything but… but you." I gripped onto his hand tighter,

"I read your letter…" I took a deep breath, tears coming into my eyes and I looked down from his face, and payed attention to our hands, which felt perfect together. Like it was made to be held together, "You said that you would never want to do anything that would hurt me, but you done this, Magnus. What in the world were you thinking? You being gone doesn't help me, or make me feel happy. It makes me feel worthless because… because I couldn't help you. And because I forced you into saying something you wasn't ready to say, and I'm sorry. But please… please… you have to wake up… for me." I whispered. I looked back at his face to see nothing had changed, and I waited a couple more moments for something to happen, but nothing did.

I looked at his face, and I finally realised the bruises that were there. The first one was by his right eye, the other underneath the ear. I trailed my eyes down to see millions of other bruises that I never saw. They were scattered all across his chest, arms and some on his legs and my anger boiled. If Jace done this he would be sorry.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath before opening them again. I smiled at the sight of Magnus, before getting off the bed and sitting on the chair, kissing his hand before resting my head on the bed.

After around 5 minutes of lying down, a noise started beeping. My head shot up, and I immediately looked around to see nothing changed besides the noise. I quickly ran to the door, opening it and yelling for help, at which I was assisted immediately.

"What's wrong with him? Is everything okay?!" I yelled, but they only pushed me out the room and then it occured to me.

 _ **He flatlined.**_

* * *

im evilllll i know haha. i hope you enjoyed this chapter tho. sorry for any mistakes in it, i literally just finished andddddd i cant be asked to check through lol.

i will be doing a next chapter, it may be out on Sunday, Monday or anytime next week.

btwww magnus will be waking up in the next chapter that i do because i know that i am killing you haha sorry for that.

and omgggg ok i just watched the s3 trailer and I LOVE IT. i fucking obsessssssssss over the past where magnus is thrown into a wall (harsh lmao) but thats only because i cant wait for alec to go and help him and all that fadddoddleeeeeee okay i will be going now

baiii have a lovely weekend or weekday, depending on when youre reading this 3


	3. Chapter 3

"Breath, Alec. It'll be okay. He wouldn't do this to you, you know that," Izzy said, rubbing my back while I cried in her shoulder. After the door slammed behind me when I got pushed out, I nearly collapsed from fear, but Izzy and the rest came just when they heard the receptionist calling the doctors to Magnus' room.

"If Magnus wouldn't do it to me, then why has he done it? This is the second time, Izzy!" I cried, yelling into her shoulder. I know I was making a mess, but I was too messed up and lost to care. This is the second time Magnus has… died. He has lost his pulse twice, and it hasn't been 24 hours yet. Maybe 3 to 4 hours? _Nowhere_ close to 24. Would they even be able to revive him again?

I could hear the doctors, and no matter how loud Izzy or anyone shouted at me, I could always here them,

"Charging… Charged! Clear!... No pulse!" I gripped onto Izzy tighter as I sobbed into her shoulder. Clary was silently crying with her hand over her mouth while Simon had his head in his knees while he was crouched on the floor, and Jace was staring blankly at the closed door with the sounds of electric thumping and doctors yelling inside. "No Pulse.. Again. Charging… Charged, Clear! No Pulse… Again!"

"Shh. It's okay, Al. Everything will be okay, I promise." Izzy whispered.

"Clear. No Pulse! Again! Charging...Charged. Clear!" I lifted my head up from Izzy's shoulder in hope as they said nothing, "Pulse! We have a pulse!" I gasped and put my head back on her shoulder, still sobbing,

"Is he okay..?" I asked. I felt something wet on my shoulder and I brought my head up to see Izzy crying. She gave me a small smile, nodding,

"Yeah, yeah, he's okay…" I sighed before smiling at her and wiping away the tears on her cheeks and under her eyes.

"Are you?" I asked. Throughout this whole experience, I have never seen Izzy cry once, but that was because I didn't pay attention to her or anyone at the time. I never cared what anyone else said or done unless it was news about Magnus. But now, seeing Izzy cry, I realise that I need to take care of not only Magnus, but also the rest of the group as well.

"Don't worry about me, Alec. I'm fine. You need to take care of Magnus, and make sure he is okay." She said. I shook my head,

"Yes, but I need to make sure you are as well. You're my little sister, Izzy. That's my job." I smiled at her and she smiled back. She sighed before looking down at her hands,

"Everything with Magnus… I feel so guilty." She muttered, almost so I couldn't hear what she said.

"Why? You did nothing wrong…" I said. She reached in her pocket and brought out piece of paper and unfolded it. It was Magnus' letter,

"Yes I did, Alec. I saw his walls in the beginning, but I never saw it after. I should have noticed something was wrong with him because I did before, but I was so… involved in other people and other things that I never saw anything wrong with him. If I did, I could have saved him from doing this." She said, but continued before letting me reply, "He wrote in the letter "don't let your brother be hung up on someone like me' and 'I don't want him to be sad over someone who broke his heart, and someone who didn't deserve to be here in the first place' and do you know who told him that he didn't deserve to be here in the first place? Me. Me and Jace. We told him that after he broke your heart, and when Jace beat him up, I was there but I didn't do anything besides watch and only pulled Jace off a couple of minutes later when I knew that it would be too much for Magnus." She had tears in her eyes,

"You were just saying that because you were protecting me…" I started but she shook her head, tears falling down her eyes,

"No Alec, you don't understand what me and Jace did to him…" She said, sobbing into her hands. I put my hand onto her back and rubbed it, like she did with me,

"Then help me understand, Iz. Tell me, please. I hate seeing you like this…" I replied, tears building in my eyes. Whatever her and Jace done must've been bad, otherwise she wouldn't be like… this. It took her a couple of moments to calm herself down,

"After you came home crying your heart out and told us what Magnus done, we were mad and decided we had to do something to make him feel the pain that you felt for being used." She took a deep breath, "After you went to bed, me and Jace went out to meet with Sebastian and Camille…" My hand stopped on her back, knowing where this was going, "We made Camille and Seb do those things to Magnus in exchange for money, we did those things and after all of it, we still beat him up." I gasped before removing my hand from her back, she looked up at me, but before she could say anything, I walked in the direction of the door.

When I turned the corner, I saw Jace and Simon there, and anger boiled inside of me. Instead of walking to the door, I went for Jace. He saw me coming, smiled and waved but the smile was wiped off his face when I pinned him against the wall with a handful of his shirt,

"Don't _ever_ get people to take advantage of Magnus or hurt him ever again, do you hear me?!" I said, not yelling because I didn't want to get kicked out. He had a straight face on him,

"Izzy told you then, hm?" He said. I didn't say anything, nor move of my position and he rolled his eyes, "I didn't do it for my sake, Alec. Well I did, but it was for you. I know with Camille it was too far but he got what he deserved."

I growled and punched him in the face, letting go of his shirt and kneeing him in the balls. He fell onto the floor with a grunt of pain and looked up at me, "And you got what you deserved." I turned around and saw Simon glaring at Jace. If looks could kill, he would be dead. I knocked on the door, and in almost a second a doctor answered it,

"Sorry for the wait, but could I speak to…" He looked down at his clipboard, "Mr. Lightwood? Alone?" It took me a moment to process before quickly nodding, and stepping inside the door. He shut the door quietly behind me but my attention was on Magnus. Magnus, lying in a hospital bed. Magnus, a rape victim. Magnus, a abused child, Magnus a… _a broken person._ I slowly walked up to the bed, and put my right index finger on his cold, still hand. A cough behind me brought me out of my thoughts and I looked up to see the doctor looking at me with worried eyes, before turning back to normal,

"What did you need to talk about?" I asked. Without looking, I traced my fingers against his knuckles, and against his fingers and fingernails. The skin was smooth, and I slightly smiled at the feeling, even though it was cold, stiff and still.

"I would like to talk about Magnus and the condition he is in right now." He said, leaning against the wall, looking at his clipboard. After a couple moments of silence and writing things down, he looked up and walked over to me.

"Mr. Bane has lost his pulse twice, and we have been able to get him back but if this keeps continuing we aren't sure how long we are able to keep him alive for, especially not if this is going to be happening every few hours." He said, "We will be continuing to help Mr. Bane for the week, but I am afraid that a week is all we can do."

"What do we do then? What happens after that?" I asked, afraid. He sighed and looked down at his paper,

"I'm sorry." The doctor said. I closed my eyes tight, stopping the tears from falling but there was no hope. I opened my eyes,

"There has to be something you… we! Something that we can do…" I started but he only shook his head,

"We've done pretty much all we can…" He said, "It's just basically up to him now. If he wants to wake up, he can, but if he doesn't…" I shook my head, looking down at Magnus' emotionless face. "I'm sorry, Mr. Lightwood." Tears fell down my cheeks,

"Please…" I whispered. He gave me a small smile, before walking out the door, letting the others in. Once they were all in, he explained it all to them, while I was sitting with Magnus on the bed, rubbing his knuckles. _Was there any hope?_

After nearly a week of staying the hospital, Simon, Jace, Clary and Izzy decided it was time they went to school again, visiting Magnus right as they left school. Throughout the whole time, he has lost his pulse 5 times. It was getting to the end of the week, meaning if he lost his pulse, he would have to just… die. No help from the staff, no nothing.

I got up from my chair and sat on the bed. One hand was locked with his, while the other was playing with his hair. Recently, while the rest were gone, I had been talking to him about how the rest are, and telling him about my day.

I was in the middle of a convocation when the door opened and a man and a woman came in. The woman was the picture I found in the back of the photograph, and the other was his father. They were laughing, and when they caught me, they stopped.

"Who are you and why are you with my son?" The woman asked, taking a step forward. I tightened my grip on Magnus' hand.

"Im his boyfriend. You know, the one who has been making sure he was okay for the past 5 days? And you, who are you and why are you in the room with my boyfriend?" I snapped. I knew this woman was trouble, and I definitely knew that his father was as well. The way he described him to be, and the way he would come to my house in the middle of the night, crying and bruised up because his drunk ass decided to beat him for no reason.

"My name is Camille, and this is Asmodeus." She said, smirking. Anger boiled in me.

"Ah. The rapist and the abuser? Great duo. But could you leave the room? I don't want Magnus to catch the horrible smell and vibe in here." I said sarcastically. They both had wide eyes, and after a couple of moments, Asmodeus spoke up,

"I, for one, am not abusive, and she? She is not a rapist so you can shut your mouth, pretty boy." He growled. I rolled my eyes,

"I like the fact that you are trying to cover yourselves up, but sorry, they won't work with me." I said. I pressed record on my phone and shoved it in my back pocket before getting up and walking to the other side of the room where they were and stood in front of Camille, giving her a death stare, "I know you got payed to rape Magnus, and the little deal with Sebastian as well." She tensed her jaw. I moved to stand in front of Asmodeus, who was freakishly tall, "And you. Are you aware of the amount of times he came to my house, crying and bruised up with cuts all over his body because you were drunk and decided to abuse him? Oh wait, you wouldn't be aware of that, because you would be too busy drinking your problems away, wouldn't you?" He balled his hands into fists while I smirked and backed up, waiting for them to say something,

"Magnus deserved everything he got. He deserved getting beat by Sebastian, getting raped by Camille and the abusing off me. He deserved everything for being such a disgrace of a son, and for being a fag." He spat. I laughed. They were clearly confused. I smirked before pulling out my phone from my pocket and holding it up to them.

"Well maybe the police should decide that, hmm?" I asked. They both looked at each other, clearly stuck before growling.

"You show that to no one, you got it?" Camille snapped. I tapped my chin, pretending I was thinking before I stopped and looked at them.

"Sure! No problem! But, in order for payment, Magnus will be staying with me. In my house. And you," Looking at Camille, "will not touch Magnus or even come close to him, and neither will Sebastian. And for you," Looking at Asmodeus "You will come nowhere near Magnus, or try to find him." I said. "Unless, of course, you want me to give this to the police?" They both sighed and shook their heads. I smiled, "Great! Now, leave." They both turned around immediately and walked out the door.

Once it was shut, I sighed in relief and closed my eyes, head dropping forward. After a moment, I stood up and sat back in the position I was in before. I interlocked our fingers, and put my other hand in his hair, brushing through it.

"Did you hear that Magnus? They'll leave you alone now. No more Sebastian, Camille and your dad. You're safe." I smiled, hearing those words. _He really was safe._ I waited for some kind of reply, but got none. I sighed,

"Magnus, I don't know if you heard, but the only reason Camille raped you, and Sebastian beat you was because someone payed them. And that someone is… actually some people." I took a deep breathe, "Jace and Izzy. They… they payed them because you 'broke a promise' or whatever, and it was my fault that happened. It was the night we broke up…

 _I slammed the door shut behind me, not caring who heard it and collapsed onto the floor. Immediately, Izzy and Jace ran into the room and put their hands on my shoulder,_

" _Alec, brother, what's wrong?" Jace asked, pulling my into a hug. I sobbed on to his shoulder,_

" _M...Magnus!" I yelled, sobbing harder and gripping on to him like a lifeline,_

" _What happened to him? Is he okay?" Izzy asked, sounding afraid._

" _He… he broke up with me…" I whispered. Izzy gasped, her hand stopping on my back, while Jace pulled me back with a stern face and a tensed jaw._

" _He broke up with you?" Jace asked. I nodded. He looked over to Izzy, and nodded to her before looking back at me._

" _I_ ' _m sorry bro. He wasn't worth it…"_

and I didn't even realise that the nod Jace gave meant something, and if I did then this wouldn't of happened. I am so sorry, I didn't mean for it to happen, but I was too heartbroken to care…" I cried. I didn't wait for anything to happen this time, because I knew, that it was never going to happen. _But deep down, I knew that he was. He was going to do it for me._

I sighed before removing my hand from his hair and sitting down on the chair, staring at our hands,

" _Do you like me, or are you only doing it because you have sympathy for me?" I randomly asked. Me and Magnus were lying on his bed on our backs, but he got up and looked down at me._

" _Of course I like you, Alec. You're fun to be around. You're smart. You're funny. You're adorable. You're crazy. You're weird. You're perfect, in an imperfect way. You're not fake, you're not rude, you're not disrespectful. you're the best you can be. I don't care the fact you barely have any friends, because before I came to this school, I had no friends but you changed that. You always speak your mind. You have the best laugh and the best smile. So yes, of course I do. You're you."_

" _I look so ugly I can't look at myself." I said with tears in my eyes. I looked up at Magnus who didn't know I was crying, and ran over to me._

" _No, no, no, no, no. Don't say that, Al." He said, straddling me, sitting on my lap in a non sexual way. I shook my head, tears falling down my eyes,_

" _Don't lie to try and make me feel better, Magnus. It's not funny." I muttered. He put his fingers under my chin and lifted it up, forcing us to have eye contact,_

" _Alec, I don't lie to make you special, to make you feel better, or to make you believe it when you already should. You are the most handsome man I have ever laid eyes on, and I don't want you to think you aren't for one second, because you are beautiful. Your messy hair, hazel eyes and bad fashion sense makes you beautiful and unique. You shouldn't doubt yourself for one second when you… you're an amazing, attractive, funny guy who everyone loves." Magnus said, wiping a tear from my cheek and cupping my face. I smiled at him and he gave me one back,_

" _Do you want a hug?" He asked. I nodded and we pulled each other in, loving the warmth of each other._

" _Magnus was literally shouting at me through the phone that he was going to beat your ass," Izzy laughed. I rolled my eyes, she looked down at her watch, "He will be here in 3...2...1…" The door slammed open and in come a crying Magnus, his eyes immediately landed on mine before he ran to over to, jumped on the bed and hugged me._

 _We fell back onto the mattress. I was laughing but wrapped my arms around him anyways. It felt like my bones were being crushed before he pulled back,_

" _You're a son of a bitch, Lightwood!" He yelled, pushing against my chest, although he knew I wasn't going to go anywhere. I laughed at him, causing him to be even more angry, "I thought you got kidnapped right in front of my eyes! I was literally going to pass out!" I laughed harder at this, ending up with tears in the corners of my eyes._

 _He sighed and bent back down, hugging me again. My laughter died down now, and I hugged him back, only chuckling a little bit._

" _Will I be getting a punishment?" I asked sarcastically. I felt the vibration in my neck as he hummed, before nodding._

" _Your punishment will be me cuddling with you every night I sleep over, which is now everyday for the next week. I hope you enjoy my cuddles, little spoon." He said into my neck, and I laughed before rolling my eyes._

 _It was 4th period, which meant lunch, Finally! I quickly ran over to one of the 6 chair tables and sat down, getting out my lunchbox which waiting for the others. Instead, I got Sebastian._

" _Aww, little Lightwood by himself? How sad!" He sarcastically said. I rolled my eyes but continued to eat my food. When he didn't move, I looked up at him, and he didn't say anything,_

" _Are you and your ugly friends going to stand there all day or what?" I asked, grinning to myself. He growled, grabbed the front of my shirt and lifted a fist back, but before he could hit me, a hand went on his to stop him,_

" _Touch him, I dare you." The person said. I immediately knew it was Magnus and was glad he got here in him. Sebastian let go of my shirt and turned around to look at Magnus,_

" _And what are you going to do?" Sebastian asked. Magnus laughed before kicking him in the balls, and punching his face. Sebastian fell to the floor and put a hand on his balls, the other on his eye. Magnus stepped forward and put his finger under his chin,_

" _Still wanna know what i'm gonna do?" He asked. Sebastian didn't answer, just got up and left with his group trailing behind him. Magnus eyed them until they were out of sight, before looking back at me and grinning,_

" _Pass a crisp?"_

 _I was walking down the corridor when I felt a tug on my arm, and then a pounding in the back of my head. I looked around and realised I was slammed into a wall, and I felt a pair of lips go to my neck. I immediately tried kicking but nothing worked,_

" _HELP! SOMEONE HELP ME PLEASE!" I yelled, but then a hand came to my mouth so I couldn't speak. I kicked the person in the balls before pushing them off me. I stumbled backwards and fell over my bag. The man came on top of me, this time trapping my hands and legs, "PLEASE!" I closed my eyes as I felt hands going to my belt buckle but then there was nothing but a sound of pain._

 _I opened my eyes and didn't see the man on me, so I turned my head right and saw Magnus punching the shit out of him. I quickly got up and ran over to Magnus, pulling him back by the arms. He was struggling against me, trying to get out of the grip,_

" _Try and do that again and I swear I will kill you." He threatened through gritted teeth. The man ran off into the distance, so Magnus finally stopped struggling and turned around. He immediately started checking me,_

" _Did he hurt you?" He asked but I silenced him._

" _I'm okay, Magnus." I said, calmly. He looked up with tear filled eyes and I pulled him into a hug._

My thoughts were interrupted with a movement in my hand and I immediately got up and sat on the bed, looking at Magnus' face for any sign of movement.

"Magnus?" I asked. I felt a slight movement in my hand and I looked down to see his index finger moving on my knuckles. _Just like I did_. I breathed a sigh of relief and felt tears coming to my eyes but I didn't care. _Magnus was alive!_

"Magnus, come on… wake up for me. Please." I asked, cupping his face. His eyelids started to flutter and I moved closer, "Come on Magnus, you can do this, I love you, okay? You can do this.." I said. His eyelids stayed still for a couple of moments which got me worried, before he opened them fully, before squinting. I let go of his hand and put it on his face, basically holding it, and after a couple more seconds he opened his eyes again and his eyes immediately landed on mine.

"Magnus! Oh god, Magnus. I love you so much!" I cried. He smiled and brought a hand up to my face, cupping it in the way I was for him.

"I love you too."

* * *

yesyesyeysyeysyeysyyeeysy our baby woke up and u got this a day earlier yaaasssss bitch

in the next chapter i am planning to have do the reuinion and the talk between everyone because i feel like that would be really cool for the story line and to see how magnus may or may not forgive izzy and jace for what they done AND magnus' reaction on what alec said to camille and asmodeus

ANYWAYS hope u enjoyed the chapter and i will see u in the next one.

TOODLES!


	4. Chapter 4

"I love you too."

I breathed a sigh of relief mixed with happiness with tears in my eyes before pulling him into a bone crushing hug. I should probably tell the doctors, but right now I want to make sure that this is real, and that is isn't some sick dream my mind is playing. I buried my head in his shoulder, lips on his pulse and lightly kissed it.

"Is this real?" I asked, whispering.

"Yes. It's real." He said. I tightened my arms around him and felt my eyes water. Finally, after a whole week of waiting with the emotions of fear, worry and guilt, he was awake.

Fear, for if he didn't wake up,

Worry, for what I would do if he didn't survive,

Guilt, for what I broke inside of him to make him do this.

"I thought I would lose you…" I said. I heard a sob come from behind me, and I pulled back from the hug to see Magnus crying as well. He was bruised up, cheeks wet with tears, and had no makeup on, but was still the most handsome man I have ever seen in my life. I cupped his face and wiped a tear from his wet cheek.

"I would never leave you, Alexander." He said, voice cracking. I gave him a small smile and interlocked our other hands together and squeezed. I traced my finger along his cheekbone, and then down his jaw, before looking into his eyes,

"Then why did you do this, Magnus?" I whispered. I know that talking about this would be hard for both of us, but I needed to know. The letter I received only explained so much, and there was so much more information in the background of the stories that I never knew. Hell, I only knew a couple of stories, and as the role of his boyfriend, I need him to tell me what's wrong otherwise he may never get better, or never trust me. Magnus looked down at our joined hands and sighed.

"I know that everything may be hard to talk about, Mags, but I… I don't want this happening again. Keeping things inside won't do you any good, it will only make matters worse." I said. When I got no reply, I sighed, "Look, Magnus, you don't have to tell me anything now, but I need you to know that you can trust me. And anyways, we both have things to tell eachother." At this, he looked up. His eyebrows furrowed, and this time, I looked down at our hands.

"You can tell me, if you like." Magnus said, putting his free hand on my shoulder. I sighed, bringing my head up and looking Magnus in the eye,

"You won't like it…" I whispered, tears falling onto my cheeks. He wiped them away, and smiled at me.

"You can tell me, Alexander." He said. He smiled at me, and I gave him a small smile back before taking a deep breath,

"I found out about the whole… Camille and Sebastian thing, and I know why they did it." Magnus took a sharp intake of breath and I bit my lip, a silent asking if he still wanted to hear the story, which to half relief and half dread, he nodded. "When you wrote in the letter that they said they would hurt me, it was a lie. They were never going to hurt me, they were just… trying to get their ways." I looked down and started playing with his fingers.

"Izzy and Jace… they heard me the night you broke up with me, and they asked what was wrong and I told them what happened. I didn't give details, but they immediately thought that you were only dating me to use me and gain popularity out of me. I didn't know that they thought this, so when I went to bed, they..." I took a deep breath and brought my head up, eye level with Magnus, "They payed Camille and Sebastian to do those things to you in revenge for breaking my heart." I felt Magnus stiffen, and his eyes started to become glossy,

"So… they got paid by Izzy and Jace to make me feel used for 'using' you?" He whispered. I bit my lip and nodded. He let out a breath that he had obviously been keeping in for the convocation.

"Magnus, I swear if I would have known…" I started, but Magnus put his hand up to silence me. When he saw my worried eyes, he put a hand on my cheek,

"Alec, I don't blame you. You never knew they was going to do that…" He said. I nodded, not trusting myself to speak. There was so much I wanted to say, to ask, but pressuring Magnus to talk about things he doesn't want to talk about could ruin the trust I have tried to build up since the beginning of our relationship.

"Alexander?" Magnus asked. I looked up,

"Yeah?" I replied. I could see the worry on his face, but before I couldn't. His facade was strong before, but now, it was like it was shattered into such small pieces that he couldn't find the energy to pick them back up, and build it again.

"If I told you reason why I did it, and my past, can you promise me you won't leave me?" Magnus asked. Leave him? Why on earth would I leave him because of his past. I grabbed his hand and nodded. He gave a small smile which disappeared in 2 seconds with a deep breath,

"When I was younger, my family was amazing. We were always smiling, laughing, having fun… In school, people would come up to me and tell me that my family was absolutely amazing and that they were jealous. That they wanted a family like mine. I was so happy with them." He smiled, "But that all changed when my mother told my father the truth that she had been hiding away for so long." He stopped.

"The thing she was hiding was the truth about me. The truth about why I looked nothing like my dad, the truth why I had completely different eyes, and the truth on who my real father was." He blinked away the tears, "Asmodeus isn't my father. I thought he was because that's who I grew up with, but he isn't." He squeezed onto my hand a little bit harder,

"One night, my mother went out to the club with her friends, hoping to have a good time. Asmodeus was there with his friends too, but they were across the room from each other the whole time. When all of my mothers friends went to leave to find a hookup, a man came over to her. They talked, but it got too loud so they went upstairs." I grabbed his free hand and interlocked our fingers, which he kindly accepted,

"She thought he was a decent guy who just wanted to know her. They laughed, danced around… but when they went upstairs he was a completely different person. He led her into a room, the furthest down the corridor, and when she walked in, he locked the door behind him and…" He squeezed his eyes shut, "He raped my mother. He tied her down so she wouldn't move, he put a gag in her mouth… he done everything to stop her from escaping or calling for help." A tear fell when he opened his eyes,

"When she done a pregnancy test and found out she was pregnant, she knew it was the strangers. She couldn't get an abortion because my father would already notice the bump, so she lied. She told him it was his, and he believed it." I kissed his hand, "After my father realised that we looked nothing alike, she knew she couldn't keep it from him for long, so she told him. She told him about everything," I squeezed his hand,

"The normal reaction from somebody would be sympathy, shocked, tearful... But my fathers? It wasn't anything like that. He was frustrated, disgusted… He hated her. So, he… he hit her. Abused her. Not just once, but almost everyday. I always woke up in the middle of the night from hearing crying and screams." He frowned, "I don't know why she never called the police, but she just… let herself be beaten." He bit his lower lip,

"One day, I came home from school. I was around 10 by now, around 2 years after he found out. When I entered the house, nobody was in. My mother was out shopping, and god knows where my father was. I sat in the living room, reading books, and then I heard the front door open. I thought it was my mum, so I got up off the sofa and ran over to the front door, but instead of my mother, it was my father," He took a deep breath, "He was taking off his shoes, but stopped when he saw me. His face went from… calm to angry by just the sight of me." Tears came in the corner of his eyes,

"He asked if mother was home, and I said no. Hell, I should've lied and said yes, but I didn't. He laughed, and grabbed me by the front of my shirt and pulled me outside. It was pouring with rain,while thundering and lightning were happening. I tried getting him off me to run back inside, but he didn't. When he stopped, I thought he would've let me go… but he didn't." He looked down, "He brought me up, so we were face to face and he spat on me and called me a mistake, because in reality I was…" He played with my fingers,

"Then, he plunged me down into a puddle. I couldn't breath, and I tried to get out of his grip by kicking him and biting his fingers, but he wouldn't budge. When my vision was turning black, I got pulled back up. Thinking it was my father, I kicked and punched but then I heard a woman telling me to calm down, and I did because I knew it was my mother who saved me." It felt like my air pipes closed, "I looked around me, and I saw my father on the floor, with blood pouring out his head." He stopped, so I squeezed his hand,

"She gently put me down on the floor, before running over to my father and putting her fingers on his neck to check if he had a pulse. After a couple seconds, she quickly took them off and ran over to me. She picked me up, ran inside and locked the door behind her. She told me to go to my room, and I ran. I ran because I was scared she would do the same thing my father done." I bit my lip, "The rest of the day went on normally, but something was off with her. Now, I know that she was off because she put my father in a coma, but at the time I didn't realise that." A teardrop fell onto my hand,

"I woke up at around 4am to a nightmare. When I was younger, I went to my parents room and slept with them, so I got out of bed and went to her room. When I turned the corner, I realised her door was open so I thought she was awake. I pushed open the door, but she wasn't there. Curiosity got the better of me and I checked everywhere." He took a deep breath, "When I went into the kitchin, I found a letter on the side. It had my name on it, and I picked it up and read it. I don't remember exactly what it said besides the "I love you, I'm sorry." at the end, but when I read that I knew something was wrong." He looked me directly in the eye,

"I walked all around the house and couldn't find her, and the only place I hadn't checked was the garage, so I opened the front door, which was already open, and walked my way to the garage. When I was close enough, I saw that it was open and had the lights on. Thinking that I had found her, I opened the door…" He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, "And when I opened it… she was… hanging there. In the middle of the garage with a chair on it's side beneath her…" I gasped, eyes wide,

"I didn't know what to do, so I ran over and pushed her to see if she would wake up, but she didn't. When I kept calling her name and got no response, I knew she was dead." He bit his lip and opened his eyes, "I stumbled backwards and hit the garage door. I turned around and ran from the house. I ran to the neighbours and told them that my mum wasn't waking up, so they came with me to the house and when they walked in, the immediately turned around and pushed me out and then closed the door behind them." He said,

"To this day, I have no clue what they done with her. I was put into the adoption center, and everytime someone brought me home, they brought me back after 3 months. Since I'm 16, they let me leave and I let myself go. I got bad grades, bullied people, hooked up with strangers. I done all of that because I didn't care about anything. I thought I could never be loved, or love someone but you changed that." He gave me a small smile, which I returned. He took a deep breath, "Are you going to leave me now?" He looked me directly in the eyes,

"No, Magnus. I am not going to leave you because of your past." I said, "Your past makes you, you, and although you don't have good experiences in the past, it made you who you are today. Sweet, funny, compassionate, caring, careful, helpful… And I love who you are. So no, just because you didn't have a great father, the fact that you were in an adoption center, being the bad boy and hooking up with people and a mother who killed herself, that will never make me change my mind on how I feel about you. I love you, Magnus Bane, and I will never stop." I smiled at him. His eyes watered, and he smiled back. I disconnected out hands and pulled him into a bone crushing hug.

"I love you, Alexander Lightwood." He whispered into my neck. I hugged him tighter,

"And I love you, Magnus Bane."

"If you need anything, just give me or Simon a call, okay?" Clary said. Magnus rolled his eyes but nodded and gave them one last hug before they left the room, leaving only me, him, Izzy and Jace. An awkward silence filled the room, before the sound of clicked from shoes caught the attention of me and Magnus, causing us to look up.

Izzy was walking her way towards the bed, with her high heels clicking on the floor beneath her with every step she takes. Throughout the whole time the group had been here, Magnus hadn't had a convocation with Izzy or Jace due to the fact about the… deal they made with Camille and Sebastian. Izzy sat down on the bottom of the bed, keeping her space. Magnus grabbed my hand and locked them together, squeezing and taking a deep breathe.

"Magnus… I am so sorry.." She said. Her face was full of sympathy, regret and guilt. "I know saying sorry will do nothing, but I really am sorry for how I acted and the things I done to you."

"I know," Magnus whispered. Izzy was trying to get him to look her in the eye, but no matter how much she moved around, he just kept staring at the white hospital sheets, like it was the most interesting thing in the world. Izzy looked defeated and bit her lip,

"No you don't, Magnus. I'm not saying sorry because I want you to forget about everything, or because I want to distract you from what I done to make you hate me.. I am saying sorry because I mean it, and I want to make things up to you." She said, playing with her fingers,

"That will take a long time…" Magnus whispered. I rubbed my thumb in circles over his hand, to which he sighed and closed his eyes.

"I know, and I will do whatever it takes to make it up to you." She said, deteminded. I saw the corner of Magnus' lips twitch up, but it was almost gone in a second and replaced with his straight face. He nodded, not trusting his voice. Isabelle had a small smile, before she sat back down on her chair. I looked at Jace to see him staring at the polished, cold floor. I cleared my throat, catching the attention of him and I raised my eyebrows at him. He sighed before looking back down again,

"Have anything to say, Jace, or are you just going to sit there and not apologise for hurting Magnus?" I growled. Magnus lifted his head and looked at me before looking at Jace, who was glaring at Magnus. The person who had once been the most confident person in front of Jace, looked vulnerable and frightened.

"I'm not apologising to someone who hurt you, Alec." Jace said, looking over towards me now. I started at him in disbelief. I may have been hurt, but Jace and Izzy hurt Magnus ten times worse than he could possibly hurt me, or ever has.

"He didn't hurt me, Jace. He was afraid…" I started, but Jace held up his hand, silencing me.

"He wasn't afraid, Alec. Don't you see that? He's using you for popularity and pleasure, and once he has all he needs, he will leave you." Jace said confidently, "His reputation backs him up on this, Alec. Surely you know the things he has done in the past?" He asked rhetorically, "He broke you,"

"You broke me." Magnus said, eyeing Jace. His eyes locked with Magnus', and Jace scoffed before rolling his eyes.

"You deserved to be broken, Bane. You made people feel worthless after you had dated them for a week, had sex with them and then broke up. If you think you're going to be able to get away with your little using scheme with Alec, you can think again. What would your mother think about you?" The grip that had been on my hand went limp, and I turned my head to see Magnus with watery eyes. Magnus detangled our hands and folded them in his lap, looking down.

Jace chuckled under his breath and walked out of the door, slamming it behind him. I looked over to Izzy with wide eyes to see she was in the same state of shock as I was. I looked over to the door before back at her, and she nodded. She walked out of the room without a word.

Magnus watched the door close slowly behind him, and once it finally closed behind him, Magnus broke into sobs. I immediately got off my chair and made my way to Magnus' free side of the bed. I put my arms on his shoulder and pulled him into a hug. His hands were gripping onto me like I was a lifeline, while his head was tucked in my shoulder. I felt his tears run down my neck, and eventually make a wet patch in shirt.

"Shh, it's okay…" I whispered, rubbing his back. The sobs only got louder, and I wrapped myself around him more.

"She'd be disgusted in me, Alec…" He sobbed. I squeezed my eyes shut when I saw them getting blurry. I shook my head and let out a breath I hadn't known I had been keeping in.

"No she wouldn't, Magnus. She understands what you've had to go through all these years without her. She would understand why you done this but… she would never be disgusted in you." I said, letting a tear fall and opening my eyes, "Yes, she may not agree with the way you lived your life, but she still loves you. She will always love you, and she knows that she made the mistake of leaving you." Magnus tugged on tighter,

"When I was a kid, she used to tell me that she knew i'd eventually find the one person," He started, and paused. He pulled back and cupped my face, "That person was you, Alec." He whispered. I smiled slightly, and put my hands on top of his.

"I love you." I said. Another tear fell from my eye, and he immediately wiped it away.

"And I love you." He replied. I leaned forward and rested our foreheads together, looking into his eyes, and his looking into mine. I kissed his forehead, before pulling back.

"You should get some rest," I said, getting off the bed and sitting in the chair I was in. Magnus laid down in the bed, and got into a comfortable position. His back was facing towards me, before he turned around and came closer to the edge of the bed. "What are you doing?"

"I'm getting closer to you," He said, shifting closer and closer. After getting comfortable, his eyes came to mine and he smiled, which I returned. He grabbed my hand, locking our fingers together and kissed my hand before closing his eyes. I took in the sight before my eyes and smiled again, _this is real. He's alive, and_ _he loves me_ _back_. I put my head onto the mattress and he quickly moved down the bed so our faces were an inch apart. He wrapped his free arm over my shoulder, and I snuggled into him.

 _This is perfect._

 _Everything's_ _ **perfect.**_

 _4 YEARS LATER_

"Alexander, where are you taking me?" Magnus asked, his hands in front of his body, waving around with a blindfold on.

"Do you trust me?" The answer was obvious. I nodded but didn't say anything. Once we finally met our destination, he let go of my hands and walked off somewhere..

"Can I take the blindfold off now?" I asked, hands already going up.

"Yes." he said, and I took it off.

When I took the blindfold off, I saw the masterpiece he created. There was a white canvas, completely covered up with photo frames. I started walking towards it, and my breath caught in my lungs as I realised all the pictures were of us. I put my shaking hand over my mouth and continued to walk around and look at all the amazing pictures.

But once I looked at a specific two, I couldn't take my eyes of them. One was a picture of me and Alec. We were both bare chested and his chest was pressed against my back. My eyes were closed and my mouth was open in a grin from, probably, laughing. Alec, behind me, had a wide grin but his eyes were open, looking down at my face.

The other picture was by far my favourite. The picture was when I was at the hospital after trying to kill myself. Someone had obviously taken the picture, but Alec's head was on the mattress with his chair as close as possible, with my head around an inch apart from his. One of our hands were joined together, and my other was in his hair, while his was on my bandaged wrist. I let a tear fall and quickly wiped it away, glancing at the rest of the pictures. Once I made it to the end, I stopped,

"Can you turn around, Magnus?" Alec asked. I took one last glance at the wall before turning around and my eyes immediately went wide. Alec was on one knee with a small, black box in his hand. I cautiously took a few steps forward, and once I was close enough, Alec grabbed my hand.

"Being with you these past few years have been… the best years of my life. You made my whole life amazing, and I couldn't of done it without you." He said, "You had, and have, made me the happiest man on the earth since the day I met you. I never expected us to be together honestly, but you're not just my boyfriend, you're my best friend, and I love you so much." He took a deep breath, and opened the box, "So what i'm trying to say is, will you marry me, Magnus Bane?"

"Yes, yes, yes!" I yelled, jumping down and wrapping my arms around his neck. "I love you so much…" I whispered. He pulled back and grabbed my hand, slipping the ring on which fit perfectly.

"I love you, Fiance." He said. I grinned and wiped a tear.

"I love you too. So much."

 _THE END_

* * *

heyyyy. i hope you enjoyed this.

tbh i had no clue how to finish this. i had tried many different approaches like coming home and jace apologising, or jace being a dick but nothing sounded right while writing it so i hope you dont mind the ending.

i might be posting a couple chapters of that though, like flashbacks and maybe their wedding but im not good with that shit lol.

comment if you want something like that, and more specifically what you would like and i will try and make it happen!

love you


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